I am the greatest human being that I know. Every word I speak, every move I make, and every thing I touch holds an atom of my greatness in it.
I am the most important person in this world. Therefore, I am entitled to everything that benefits solely myself.
I am not bound to any promises, obligations, or expectations from the others. I exist only to please myself.
Don't get me wrong. I am not a hedonist. I mean to please myself by following my passions.
Am I selfish? Yes. Am I egotistical? Certainly. Am I arrogant? No.
Allow me to explain. Contrary to popular consent, there is a difference between ego and arrogance. When an individual acknowledges his self-existence and develops deep self-respect, he lays foundation to his ego. His ego further develops as he discovers his passion and pushes on to perfect it. The perfection of human capabilities, or at least the progression towards such a goal, is what constitutes to ego.
Arrogance is the embodiment of insecurity and low-self esteem. I sense it in every arrogant person that I meet, a sort of lurking emptiness and depression. Arrogant people have no self-respect. Their actions are the results of what other people think of them. They don't have anything of their own to be truly proud of. They hate what they do, but never relinquish their position in fear of losing their place in society. They solely rely on their arrogance to remind themselves that their existence on Earth holds some value.
Arrogant people are one of the most tragic and despicable beings in this world. Their understanding of their low-self esteem is so tremendous that they develop a fake identity and devote their lives to impressing other people, instead of doing what they truly enjoy doing. In their meaningless quest for acceptance, arrogant people make a lot of sham friends, but even more true enemies.
People with ego, myself included, have many enemies, but close, true friends. I couldn't really care less what the others think of me. I do not care if I appear to be different. I do not care if I sound obnoxious. I do not care if my actions establish me as an arrogant individual. All that matters is that I see myself as who I am and that I respect myself.
If you think this is just another embodiment of the thoughts of a typical, idealistic, nonconformist adolescent, think again. I am not idealistic. I am not nonconformist. I only think what I tell myself to think. I only do what I think I should do. I do not force myself to conform or not to conform to society's demands. I am me. I do not represent any collective reason or ideal. I live only for myself. I live only to enjoy life.
My goal in life is to prove to myself that I can live it to the fullest and utilize my capabilities to the maximum. All else do not matter. Life is too short to get immersed in self-pity or pessimism. I am selfish. I am egotistical. I am ambitious. I am passionate. I am the greatest man on Earth.
2 comments:
Is this you, Minjeh? Well written, and good distinction.
You sound transcendental to me. Have you read much of them?
The only thing you said that I don't like is that you have a 'goal' to maximize pleasure etc. Remember that your logic is only a part of your mind; most of the time you don't use logic and you don't act on principle. The mind is far more complex than that... we have instincts, dreams, and many levels of subconsciousness. Be confident in your ideals, I agree, but don't fortify them so much that new experiences fail to reshape them.
You dig?
Thanks for the feedback Gareth. I do have much to learn, but yes, I dig. I've read Emerson and Throeau before, and I am currently tackling Ayn Rand and her principle of Objectivism. It's fascinating stuff.
Thing is though, the pleasure comes from achieving something grand. For example, you practice hours for a concerto competition, and when you win, you are overcome with this torrential sense of pride and achievement. So I'm saying basically that i live to pursue what I really want to do. Your comment on "maximizing pleasure" makes it sound as if my entry was endorsing hedonism. I don't believe in hedonism. It corrupts minds. The pleasure is the product of sacrifice and perseverance, not a derivative of impulses.
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