Laughter

 I heard the laughter of children.  It cured me of all my torments.  My weary heart was afflicted from the day's share of malediction, but the sound of laughter of the jubilant children next door stomped out all my inner-demons.  All thoughts of contempt, sadness, and anxiety vaporized.  I was smiling for a change.

What is it about children's laughter that stirs up such sentimentality within the human soul?  Is it the innocence and nonchalance in the laughter that puts us at ease?  If everyone could laugh like a child, would the world be a better place then it seems?

Laughter indicates many things.  Love, fun, merry, mockery, and even contempt.  But neither mocking nor contemptuous laughter is a genuine manifestation of joy.  Welcome to my world.  Whenever I laugh, I'm always laughing at someone.  Never with them.

Why can't I laugh so genuinely these days?  When was the last time I had a good smile or a laugh about something very humorous, yet poignant at the same time?  When was it when I looked at children without viewing them as mobile lumps of annoyance?

 I'm just a crude person.

Whenever I laugh, it's always at something crude.  Something perverse, sensual, and offensive.  Why do these things bring me joy?  What is there so amusing about sexism, racism, and stereotypes?  Why do people ridicule things that should never be ridiculed in the first place?  I am overwhelmed guilt for I laugh uproariously at these tasteless jokes.

Can't I laugh about something nice for a change?  Can't I just laugh out of utter joy for no reason?  Do any of the little things in life make me joyful?

I want to splash water on a friend's face and laugh about it because his wet hair makes him look like a mop.  I want to pin a flower on a girl's hair while she's asleep and chuckle because it makes her resemble Anne of the Green Gables.  I want to see how much of a submarine sandwich I can fit in my mouth, and then giggle uncontrollably after seeing just how much of an idiot I look like in the restaurant mirror with half the thing wedged in my mouth.

I want to learn how to laugh again.  I want to learn how to laugh again.  I want to learn how to laugh again.
So please laugh with me and spread the warmth in this forsaken world.

"When the drugs don't work and God doesn't respond, heed to laughter my friend.  Heed to laughter."