Motivation

Well.
I'm glad that's over.
NaNoWriMo turned out pretty oddly for me. I ACTUALLY WROTE 50,000 WORDS IN A MONTH!!
But as I was writing the novel, I discovered that I had more plot to cover than would fit in 50,000 words. So I finished, but I didn't finish. I got the goal, but not the novel.
During the month of November, I was under a lot of stress, thinking about word count and how horrible it sounded and how I might not finish. But all of this stress also allowed for a sort of creative fervor. I needed to crank out that many words each day, and I bashed my brains around until some idea came out. No matter how stupid, it was still an idea, and I would write as much as I possibly could about it. I didn't worry about logic, I didn't worry about how it sounded, I just wrote and wrote and wrote.
Now I'm really relieved that it's over, and I can stop freaking out over trying to find a way to make up random bs out of thin air. I can relax and write about whatever I want. But the creative rush that came with the freakout is gone too.
I still want to finish my novel, but every time I open a word doc, I find other things to do. Eat chocolate. Study for my math test. Actually practice piano for once. All these end up taking priority over writing now that I don't have a word-o-meter to fill.
I don't know why numbers and goals have such a strong effect on me, but that crazy goal ended up being reality because of the extreme satisfaction I got out of updating my word count added to the normal happiness that comes with writing in general. Somehow, just enjoying the story I'm writing is not enough to get me writing it again.

Priorities.
I do things that I need to do, things that will make me feel bad if I don't do, rather than things that I want to do or things that just make me happy and relaxed.
Unfortunately blogging falls under the second category and I have a math test tomorrow. So much for finally being able to write about what I want to again...